If I could be what I wanna be…If I could show my love to my parents with my own style..If only they could understand how hard my life is…If I could show them how hard I’ve tried to be their best…
Sometimes, I am tired literally, being compared with my brother..he’s much better than me..I know it. But, hey, don’t they realize that everyone has their own destiny, and not everyone can get what they want! moreover, nobody’s perfect!!
All I can do is praying…that God will show me the way, that He’ll give me power and patience to bear this…I only can rely on my own faith, that God will never despise me, He never leaves me alone, no matter how sinful I am…And for you all.. someday, when you’re getting older, and you become mom, or dad..please, remember this!! do not ever compare your children..they have different fate, just believe that they love you, and they want to show how big is their love to you, but with their way…the way that suitable with them..
Your duty as parents are just take care of your children, give them any advises,and protect them…and after everything you’ve done to them, it doesn’t mean that you have right to control their life..for sure..just let them to be what they want to be, and they’ll show you, how big is their love…
For mom, dad….I do love you..and I’ll always try to make you proud of me, not to bring you down, and feel as if everything you’ve done to me is in vain..sure, your tear is my sadness, and your smile is my happiness..and as I want to see you always smiling, that’s why I always want you to be happy 🙂
Just believe me mom, dad…I do my best…and if I haven’t had the result yet, it doesn’t mean I do nothing…it’s only about timing! someday, I’ll show you, that I can be better, as good as your beloved oldest son…even more!!! but till that time, I need your trust…and please, for heaven’s sake, stop comparing me with my elder brother, it hurts me alot! and it ruins everything!!